...August 4th, 2009...I survived another 4 day stretch...literally...yesterday...it's hard to find the words to sum up yesterday at work...all of my patients were critical...no in between...I'm torn and motivated all at once by the meetings I attended...or should I say held in regards to me...I know that I'm as driven as I ever have been...but it's different now that I'm a father...it's work...not my life and at the same time...helping people comes as naturally to me as breathing air...I pride myself on that...
...I spent most of July trying to determine how I could let go of every bit of vulnerability...it is a personal goal I have had for some time now...there are topics...events...and people that have affected my life...and I'm not sure how to respect there privacy while pursuing enlightenment...is it fair to compromise a friendship for words...thoughts...
...interpretation is the meat of all that we do...the bones are but a backdrop for the horizon...
...I will make a decision soon...
...I will end this morning with this thought...not every one's definition of great is identical...for me...today...I woke up fatigued but alive...I was not in the hospital...we had not been hit at a high speed by a mini van while responding to a emergent call...my daughter...my mother are healthy...no one I love is in the hospital...I have all 5 senses...all 10 toes and 10 fingers...that is enough when I wake up in the morning...probably because I see so many souls who lack that which we take for granted on the regular...
...life is delicate...witnessing that even once changes you...embrace it and don't let fear rule your heart...no matter what struggle you may face...
jwcIII
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