September 30th, 2009...

...today is the last day of September...it was a long day for me...I could not seem to wake up this morning and when I finally did I felt like I had been shot out of a cannon...my 2 pm I had done 12 hours of work in less than 6...

...I've been thinking about Dad lately...life...and how I miss our talks...it's true that Mom and I are much closer now...but our talks aren't the same...the bond is in some ways much more unique and at times more exhausting...ultimately the friendship mom and I have is not easy for me to describe...I very much feel like the parent these days with Mom...

...yesterday I was reminded that life doesn't have to be so serious...in a world where we know lose all too often it really was nice just to relax...something that I all too often find very little of...peace...that is...

...I believe many people become exhausted by the realities of life...but if you can find that happy balance...that is truly something special...I remember working on the oncology unit...the families...the loss...the toll it took on my soul...it changed me forever...ultimately I was able to find the positive..."Good will towards men"...

...tomorrow is a new day...at the end of the day...what is most important to you...for me...it's about being the best Dad...being consistent...supporting mom and helping as many strangers as humanly possible...it's just what comes naturally to me...

jwcIII

September 14th, 2009

I woke with no quickness in my step this morning...feeling the toll of the 4 heme/onc patients I helped care for had a cumulative affect on my soul. Ultimately there is only so much we can do as clinicians...ultimately we must constantly reevaluate our perspective on life and adapt so not to burn out...

I'd like to think I could find peace in my dreams, but there is so much going on right now it is difficult. I have had dreams come true, even if it is nothing more than foreshadowing. Life has a funny way of working itself out so you always have to look for those opportunities, even when you are sleeping.

Today begins week five of my transfer to the office. My progress on the COOP is going well. It has been a productive day in the office overall...pulling together the data from the interviews conducted. It is a slow process developing this program from the ground up, but important and necessary.

I am excited about Addison's Parent orientation tonight. She will be attending preschool twice a week this fall. She loves interacting with other children. She is so intuitive...she has an awareness and happiness that makes me very proud!

Back to the grind...

jwcIII